Engaged to be Married in Sri Lanka

We've just returned after an event filled month in Sri Lanka. The first event took place two days after our arrival and, in family terms, it was a momentuous one. The youngest son of a family of four got engaged! To my surprise, I learned that this was a totally arranged marriage! The young man is an independent, strong minded person, plays more sport than is usual and therefore has many social opportunities and I had expected him to find a partner himself, as his older siblings had done. In the event, he was happy for his parents to make enquiries, check out prospsective in law families, consult horoscopes and do the negotiations. It's a long careful process, choosing a marriage partner, so maybe it's a good idea to have someone do the necessary for you!

Now, don't get the idea that the young individuals have a partner foisted on them! After it has been worked out that the couple's horoscopes are compatible, their families compatible too, they get to have a chaperoned meeting or two, talk and work out if they like the other person and the idea of being married to them. Then they convey their willingness [ or otherwise] to proceed with a marriage contract, to their own family and negotiations get really down to business. Auspicious times and days are ascertained for each part of the Engagement ritual, the process of inviting guests is attended too, each partner prepares for the event with their family and the day arrives when it all happens.

My young nephew has had his family choose wisely in their recommendation of his marriage partner. His bride is  a beautiful young woman, confident, well educated, has an engaging personality and a lovely family as well. In this culture, marriage arrangements are at least as equally for the benefit of the family as for the individual. Everyone was very satisfied and happy with her addition to our family.

In Sri Lanka, the Engagement is actually the Civil contract completed, that is the couple are legally married. However, time they spend together after this is usually well chaperoned by both families until the Wedding Day.

The Big Day, from the Groom's family's perspective begins!

The Groom's Mother

Early in the morning we leave our second home, Olu Ella Inn, for a 2 hour drive to collect the Groom from his family home. On arrival we are offered traditional sweets including kiribath - milk rice - and fruit.

Traditional sweets

 We then wait around until the auspicious time for the Groom to pay his respects to the his parents and senior family members before he leaves his family home. This involves offering betel leaves to each person, symbolising respect and asking for approval for the coming event.

Offering betel leaves

Once the young man has done the rounds with the betel leaves, he has to wait for the next auspicious time to set out from home to go to the Bride's family home.

The Groom waits

Attending this Engagement the day after their arrival was a surprise for our holidaying friends! Nevertheless, they observed and  were totally included in all the rituals. Here, they also wait for the auspicious time to leave.

The Bride's family happen to live in the same area so a short ride and we arrived at her home. Here, we formed a line with senior family members casually taking the first places, and were ceremoniously greeted by the Bride's Mother and as her father passed away when she was very young, her Brother.

Traditional Greetings

After this, guests took their seats in the lounge room and the couple were brought in to sit at a table in front of the Marriage Registrar and a Witness from each side of the family.

The Auspicious Time, 11.05 am arrives. Immediately things start to happen!

Now, the ritual is recognisable, despite the [to me and two other guests] foreign language. The couple is asked individually if it is their wish to proceed with the marriage, they respond, vows follow, rings are swapped, those present are called upon to witness the vows and to support the couple in the marriage and documents are signed and witnessed.

The Bride's turn to sign the legal document

Witness for the Groom

Rings exchanged

The couple is then pronounced as legally Engaged.

 The Mothers then offer gifts to their new daughter or son.

The Bride receives a gift from the Groom's Mother

Next, the couple is then escorted to the seat where they may now sit together, officially.

Sitting together

 The Engagement Cake is cut. 

Cutting cake

Couple looking good!

 After this pause, the ritual again picks up with the couple offering each other a drink from their own glass, symbolising that they will each take care of the other person, helping them to drink and eat should that be necessary.

I promise to take care of you in sickness.

The Two happy mothers

 The Mothers can relax now that they have completed their duty of ensuring that their children are safely engaged, almost married.

Couple with the Groom's family

 Now comes the process of having formal photos taken with every branch of the family and other guests present. This took quite some time although the guest list was confined to senior family members, brothers and sisters with wives or husbands and children.

And the Bride's family

The ceremonial lamp was then lit, firstly by the couple, then their parents and lastly by senior family members. This special ritual symbolises the need for fire as it gives warmth, life [through the presence of light], provides energy and signifies a bright new life together

The couple lights the lamp together

Following these formalities, a sumptuous lunch was served followed by speeches.

Sumptuous Lunch

It was then time for the Newly Engaged couple to pay their respects to all present and to ask for and receive their Blessings for their Engagement and upcoming Marriage. They started first with respecting the Bride's deceased Father, then her Mother and Brother followed by the Groom's Parents, senior family members in turn all the way down the line until, lastly, the visiting overseas friends.

Another family milestone achieved! We all returned home in good spirits, happy with our newest family member and looking forward to the wedding which will take place in a few months time.

Flowing down the Swan River to Fremantle

Every day things have been unusually unpredictable these past few months and I have neglected this blog - just haven't had the space to sit at the computer for very long. Next week, however, we will be going on another short and unexpected trip, this time in a southerly direction, so I have decided to play catch up. The  last two trips were really enjoyable so I will relive them as I write. This post is Part 2 of our Perth trip and is about a very pleasant and significant day.

We were last in Fremantle in 1991 when we called there on a ship bound for New Zealand, as were we, so we could not return home without a visit down memory lane. The voyage had been a disappointment, delayed because of at sea incidents, bad weather and such and we had been very happy to spend a day on land.

Bell Tower, Perth waterfront

To get to Fremantle we decided to take the ferry so walked from our central city hotel to the ferry terminal. This was easy to find because of the Bell Tower in the front. This tower, we were told, houses the biggest musical instrument in the world. You can go up to the top to see the bells, for a fee.

Golden Cruises ferry

There were several different ferry companies all offering different cruises - whole day, half day, sunset and so on. We were soon on our way downstream with the pilot giving a commentary along the way.

Former Swan Brewery from River Level

Yachting and other water sports are very popular here and no one allows you to forget that Alan Bond scored the Americas Cup. The day was a bit windy but there were a few yachties about, including several yachts crewed by young teens.

One of several boat club moorings

 We soon came to the stretch of river with its banks lined with the homes of seemingly every excessively wealthy Australian. Think of one such person - they have a triple digit million home beside the water here. Rather than being impressed by such wealth, I was uneasy at the obscenity [IMO] of millions being spent on places that are used occasionally by just a few people, about whom we hear only news of their objections to paying taxes or their unhappy and litigious relationships.

The most pricey real estate in Australia

See the building behind the boats! This has been labelled an ëyesore"and a "headache"and there is talk of having it bulldozed when its building license runs out before too long. Unfinished because its owner's company went into receivership it has already had a cool 9 million of the estimated 70 million for construction spent on it. And, the neighbours just don't like it and want it down - according to the local newspaper.

Select neighbourhood

 Back to real life on arrival in Fremantle where we walked about 600 metres from the ferry terminal to the free Fremantle CAT bus. Once on the bus we realised that only another 200 metres walk and we'd have been in town.

May Day March in Fremantle

Fremantle was a very pleasant town - old buildings, trees, interesting old fashioned shops, clean - just a cosy feel about the place. We walked around a corner and found ourselves almost in a very cheerful May Day parade which I appreciated as I am conscious that it is so very easy to lose our democratic ways with so few people in the world, Australia included, holding so much economic, and therefore political, power.

Fremantle Town Hall

There were many such buildings like this one. Lovely!

Welcome Wall at the Freemantle Port

This spot was where we felt that we had come full circle. It was here, early in 1971, that we watched some of our fellow passengers who had travelled as Australian Government sponsored migrants disembark to start their new lives in Australia while we continued to my birth country, New Zealand. You see, we had preferred to come to Australia but although the "White Australia"policy was supposedly dead, no one had told the Australian officials in London who had denied one of us a resident visa, saying that they believed that assimilation would not be possible. Despite the person concerned having a double degree in English medium from a New Zealand University and having lived and worked there for several years. Interestingly, during the voyage I was employed by the Australian government to teach English to these new migrants most of whom knew seemingly none at all. Anyway, we continued happily to New Zealand, had a good life there and eventually got here and the rest is history, as they say.

I was very interested in these welcome walls which pay tribute to Western Australia's migrants who came by sea from 1911 to 1980s. I think that there were 491 walls honouring 45,000 migrants. Over one third of Western Australia's population came from elsewhere and this we noticed during our time there. I spent some time reading the names and looking for those of fellow passengers from the Australis. I found some! I hoped that Australia became all they dreamed of and that they managed to overcome the strangeness of a new environment and culture - these things being within my own experience.

Welcome Wall, Freemantle

I remember many of the child migrants on the boat from the second class I taught each day on the ship. Lovely that they have this sculpture to remember them by.

Child Migrant Sculpture, Fremantle

Today Fremantle is a busy commercial port.

Portside, Perth

Despite an oncoming squall, we watched as this mighty container ship was guided into the port by two tugs and remembered hanging over the rails watching the same manoeuver in 1971.

Entering Fremantle Port

The photos of this container ship have been very much appreciated by a small boy who had me enlarge the above one for his wall. The video of the ship slowly berthing was received with great delight and the plea, "Can you take me to Fremantle? Please! Please!"

Freemantle train sign

I couldn't resist taking this photo for my sign collection!

We loved Fremantle and vowed to return and stay there at our leisure.

Perth

 

Perth and the Swan River from King's Park

Last month we felt the need to get away for a quiet break and decided to take a city holiday in Perth. We decided on a city stay, no car rental, just a leisurely time walking or going to nearby places by bus and train. So, a few days later we had made our exit from the Domestic Arrivals hall at the Perth airport where we saw with surprise that the airport seemed almost deserted and small, reminding me of the Cairns airport of 20 years ago. It was easy to locate the hotel shuttle by the taxi rank right at the door - $15 per person.

Living on the East coast, we hear a lot about Perth and West Australia, mainly about the mining and petroleum industries, job opportunities in WA, high salaries and the wealth of the owners of these industries.Travelling through rather dingy and dull streets to the CBD did not look like the Wealth State! No gold paving!

The silver sand in the front yards of the brick houses along the streets to the CBD was also a surprise. Later that night I read in the news paper that Western Australia has some of the most nutrient deficient soil on the planet and its citizens were being encouraged to compost and breed worms. In contrast with Brisbane on the East coast, the environment at first look was very harsh with scrubby vegetation and sharper colours. We were in for an interesting time!

Former Government Printing Office

Another striking contrast to Queensland were the brick houses and buildings. Even the small, closely built houses in the city area were constructed of brick. 

Old fire station. Goderich street, Perth

As the shuttle bus wove its way around the various hotels we got several glimpses of the city Mall. Another surprise! On a Saturday afternoon it seemed empty of people! We began to realise that our 5 hour flight had taken us to a place that was quite different to what we expected. We would really have to get out to discover what this far away city really was like!

Perth proved to be a very easy city to find our way about and also a cheap one. We were startled to find that the hop on hop off buses that looped around the city were free! 

Perth CAT routes - a free service

List of CAT stops in Perth

 We made good use of this excellent service every day! The train service was equally as efficient.

London Court,  Hay Street Mall side, Perth

 On our walk around the CBD we came across this beautiful, but surprising building. I just did not expect to find an Elizabethean style building in Perth! A crowd was standing, gazing upwards and after a minute There was a murmur of appreciation as the clock sounded its unique chime, calling the 3/4 hour. Later I learned that this building, which goes right through to St George's Terrace was built in 1937 for a wealthy gold miner and financier, Claude de Bernales. The clock face is blue and is a replica of the Great clock found in Rouen, France. There are four knights above it. The other side of the building has another clock this one being a replica of Big Ben, London. Above its face is a statue of St George fighting a dragon. I don't think that old Claude could have known the pleasure his building would give beyond his lifetime!

Bell Tower of St George's Cathedral, Perth

City Memorial building

                       

 The above plaque was on the building pictured above it.

The Tree of Life, outside Wesley Church, Hay Street

 This sculpture by Rod Laws was commissioned as part of the Children's Peace Project for CHOGM 2011.

 On one day we took the  Blue CAT and did almost a complete loop before getting down at stop 19. Our intended destination was Kings Gardens on the hill above us but getting up there proved to be a bit of a challenge. After a walk along the road we eventually found what is known as "Jacob's Ladder" a set of 99 steep steps to the top. We took these slowly, moving aside for the never ending stream of lycra clad fitness intent people who raced both upwards and downwards, some looking anxiously at stopwatches clutched in their hands. Although this was a route demanding some energy, in the end I was pleased we got there this way as we were able to see the whole of these beautiful gardens. The focus was on native species from various parts of Australia and the highlighting of Aboriginal pre European knowledge and use of many of those presented.

Bali Memorial

 The park and Botanic Gargens cover 400 hectares and is set out in mini parks with various themes. I particularly enjoyed the banksias, gravilleas peppermint and boab trees as well as the garden dedicated to Pioneer Women.

Boab tree

There are free tours available several times daily but we preferred to do or own thing. I noticed that although the day was somewhat wild, quite a few people did take advantage of this service. There is an information booth beside the cafe and the map they provided was really helpful.

Peppermint Tree

information about Aboriginal culture

Federation Walk

The day was alternately wet and windy and fine and sunny so we spent the wildest part of it in the cafe having lunch. Our desire to get out of the cold led to a limited and expensive menu and, had the weather been more comfortable, we could have had a bigger choice, eaten under umbrellas outside. By the time we were ready to move again the weather had improved so we went in search of the well known Federation walk. Here we walked at treetop level where the birds took advantage of the drop in wind to give us a song or two. We also had some lovely views of the Swan River and the city.

Down town Perth from the Federation Walk

Old Swan Brewery

This former brewery is now high end apartments, shops and restuarants. Looks great ! Again, brick!

We spent four hours in this lovely park before returning to the city by bus. Again, Free! 

Post script: After posting this I saw that Perth had been hit by a tornado today. What a shock for the people who were hit. I'm hoping that no one was hurt and the damage it did put right ASAP.