Sharing our Lanka with a friend

We returned from our latest trip to Sri Lanka two weeks ago so it's about time I updated my blog. It was an especially busy one with many things planned for the brief three weeks we had to spare for a holiday. As a long time retired couple we technically have plenty of time however that's not the way things go! We miss our family here and know that we are also missed. On the other hand, family in Sri Lanka say that we don't stay long enough there. A month away from home is as long as we can last so three weeks in Sri Lanka and another one elsewhere and we are ready to return home.

This time we had the pleasure or a friend's company for the Sri Lankan part so we met up with her in Kuala Lumpur at the KLIA  departure gate.  What a change in the terminal since we were last there, about seven years ago! It's now very modern, comfortable and has currently one satellite terminal connected by a computer driven train. A second new terminal, LCCT, [the Low Cost Carrier Terminal] is to be added next year. At the moment LCCT, although in the same airport, is a 20 minute taxi ride away at a cost of about MYR35.  [ MYR70 between 12 midnight and 6am.]

As we had more than four hours between flights we idled some time in a restaurant before wandering to the gate to find that we were the first arrivals. We found some full length lounger chairs around a quiet corner and the next thing we knew we were being called to board our plane immediately as it was waiting to take off! This was the first time for ten years that we didn't have a day or two stop over en route and it will be the last!

As usual, when we arrive at our Sri Lankan home, Olu Ella Inn, we open the cupboards and set up our tea, coffee and toast station and then sit back on the balcony and enjoy the view while the word gets out that we have arrived. Family members then trickle in and out to catch up on what's been happening since our last visit.

Our balcony

This trip was to be a busy one and we had just a few days at home before we were to depart on a twelve day tour through the Hill Country to the East Coast. We would then follow the coastline north as far as Trincomalee before heading inland and South, spending a few days in the Cultural triangle then returning home.

Click  image to see our plan

Before leaving we had a very personal and important ritual to attend to.

Sue's husband had passed away exactly one year ago and she had arranged with her children and their families to light a candle to honour him and mark his passing, each one in their own place and time on the day. She herself wanted to do so in a Buddhist Temple so we went by tuk tuk to the temple at Yatiyantota. Our family quietly obtained some white and pink lotuses for her as an offering and on the way down the hill we stopped to buy the packet of candle wicks needed for lighting the temple candles.

Stupa at Yatiyantota Temple

There was nobody else inside the temple when we arrived so we were able to go privately to the Buddha statue at the back, taking time to stand in front of it and make our own personal reflections. Sue then placed her flowers in front of the Buddha and said her personal prayer. It was a moving moment for me, one which will not be forgotten.

In Buddhist temples you are not able to light candles inside because the smoke and oil residue would damage the paintings that usually adorn the walls and often the ceilings so we moved outside to the designated spot where first Sue, and then ourselves lit candles for our families.

Lighting the candles

There were many candles to light. The candle tree frame here had many little pots on the end of each "branch" and you fill each one with oil and add a wick. These wicks proved a challenge to light but Sue was determined to get each one going. We also lit incense sticks as well as camphor balls - a lovely aroma.

Incense sticks with blazing camphor balls

The temple grounds were filled with the sound of chanting devotions as a group women sat in a building behind the Bo tree. These sounds mingled with the laughter and squeals of children at the Montesorri school next door, the burning candles, incense and camphor and so created a lovely atmosphere.

Bo Tree

Finally all the candles were burning brightly, their flames wavering in a gentle breeze.

Sue was happy. 

Post Scriptum: Sue was able to honour her husband in her own way in a totally different cultural and religious setting to her own. The local people observed that and were unobtrusively supportive, wishing her well. 

In Sri Lanka the twelve month anniversary of a family member's passing is marked by the extended family and friends gathering for a big Dana. Several monks are brought to the home where they offer prayers for the departed one and advice for the family in the form of the chants including that of Reflection on the Loss which is a reminder that all life ends in death and that possessions and ego are left behind and that meritorius deeds leave something positive behind. The family then offers the monks their daily food which, as it is paying respect to the Sangha and adds to the merit bank for the departed family member's future life.